Dear Sisters who are praying,

"We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the providence of Asia.

We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it.

In fact we expected to die. But as a result we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God."

2 Corinthians 1:8-9.

After having been in the hospital 3 times within 3 weeks I can honestly say I don’t want that any more. But since leaving the hospital I am weak, nauseous, & unable to do some of the simple things I used to do.  I feel extremely vulnerable.

During this trial there have been moments where I can feel my mind descending into darkness.  Questions arise: Will I always be this way? Is this my new normal? What kind of life is this for my family?

I know where my mind should be - focused on God, His promises, His love and mercy - but at various times the darkness descends.  I think of Paul.  One trial after another, a dark cold prison cell, pain.

He is just a man, full of faith, but I bet he had moments where he felt alone, afraid, wondering “why?”  Yes we read of the praises he sings, and I do that too, but darkness can come quickly. 

God tells us to be prepared, but sometimes our flesh over takes our faith. That’s when I just have to lay back, surrender, and ask the Holy Spirit for strength.  Nothing else can do…I just need Holy Spirit Power.  I also ask God how can He use me? And He always shows me.

We are all a bit like Paul.  The trials come; we don’t understand or like them.  There are moments of descending into darkness, but then God extends His hand & shines the light upon the situation. It is the HOPE He and only He can bring. Paul wrote some of his best works while in a dungeon!

I don’t want to look too far ahead - I am looking one moment at a time. I am grateful for a moment of rest, strength, of feeling hugs, of having people visit. 

One moment at a time.

Like He did with Paul, it’s in these dark moments that God teaches us.  He speaks to us about what others need, be it exhortations or encouragements or something in between.  Paul never stopped being used by God to touch the lives of others, even though he might have been going through a dark time.

Don’t stay in the darkness. Pray yourselves out of it. Use the Power of the Holy Spirit.  Arise!!

I love you all, sharon